12-Steps

Dirty Knitters Anonymous-
12-Steps

1. I admit I am powerless over yarn—that my stash has become unmanageable.

2. I believe there is a Yarn Goddess greater than myself who can restore my sanity.

3. I have made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of completing my UFO’s.

4. I have made a searching and fearless inventory of my stash.

5. I have admitted to the Yarn Goddess, to myself, and to my fellow knitters the exact amount of yarn in my stash.

6. I am entirely ready to finish all my UFO’s.

7. I humbly asked the local thrift shop to remove all of the acrylic from my stash.

8. I made a list of all the projects I had harmed by not completing them, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such UFO’s wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them (frogging).

10. I continued to take yarn inventory and when I found yarn I would never use, promptly donatated it.

11. I sought through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with the Yarn Goddess, as I understood Her praying only for knowledge of Her will for me and the power to carry that out—finish or rip?

12. Having a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, I will carry this message to dirty knitters everywhere, and I will practice these principles in all my knitting affairs.

Inspiration

After a terrible week, having been hit by a car, not getting much knitting done, and suffering the aches and pains of getting older (40 is just around the corner, glaring at me ), I tried to cheer up with the Yarn Harlot. After reading her chapter “Cracking the Whip,” I too made a commitment not to cast on another project until I had completed a few hiding out in my house, moreover, I went a step further and decided I wouldn’t buy anymore yarn (for a while). I knew it would be difficult as I work at a wonderful yarn shop and new luxuries are coming in all the time. However, I made a decision—no casting on; no yarn! Then temptation took hold of me. While at work on Friday, I heard a few of the regulars going on and on about the Great American Aran Afghan! They were discussing colors, yarn, the book, squares, and I’m all over it. I talked to them about it and took their orders as they need lots of yarn in the same dye lot. I also learned they will meet monthly beginning at the end of August. I’m freaking out because I want to make the afghan too, but I made a commitment to the Yarn Harlot! That night I gathered all my UFO’s and found eight. That’s not too bad I thought. My mind started whirling, much like Lucy while concocting yet another plan! So, my plan is to knit like crazy and complete at least four of my half completed projects and then I can join the afghan group without breaking my private pact with the Yarn Harlot! I have three weeks I thought—easy-peasy. The next day at work, I picked out my yarn, my afghan color, looked through all the squares and placed my order. I didn’t by any yarn, and I didn’t cast on—yet. The Yarn Harlot inspired me to clean up my act, but she has also taught me how to think outside the box in order to hide my dirty knitter ways.